The main reason I'm writing this post is because someone on Instagram recently told me that 'healthy eating isn't a cure for an eating disorder', which I found to be quite offensive. Never have I claimed that eating a certain way can cure any eating disorder - EDs are mental illnesses which manifest in a tight control (or a lack of, in the case of disorders such as BED) over food and weight, so eating a certain way will never be able to cure someone of one because it's not tackling the root of the problem. Something else which concerned me was the use of the term 'healthy eating'. What is 'healthy eating', anyway? To one person it may mean eating foods which nourish the body and encourage good health within it but another person may take it to mean eating foods which keep the mind and soul happy but are not necessarily nutritious. To me, 'healthy eating' is being able to consume any type of food with no guilt or fear, and be safe in the knowledge that you're fueling both your mind and body with the best possible nutrition. To put it simply, no food is off-limits but the consumption of wholesome foods which contain plenty of essential vitamins and minerals is something which should be encouraged.
Whilst I was doing my 'research' I encountered so many conflicting arguments about 'recovery food' and it was hard to know which to pay attention to. After a while I noticed that there were two recurring opinions from opposite sides of the spectrum that kept popping up - the first was that recovery should consist of 100% 'clean' food and exercise should be the main motivation for weight gain, whereas the other side argued that you should mainly eat 'junk' food and conquer all your fear foods as soon as possible - the acts of eating 'healthily' and engaging in exercise were labelled as being signs of orthorexia by this side. Not everyone had views this extreme but it did seem as though most people fell on one side or the other. I started off in the middle, veered over to the pro-clean-eating-and-exercise group for a little while and now I'm back to a happy medium in the centre of the scale. I believe that a big emphasis should be placed upon banishing 'fear foods' in recovery because it's important to have a healthy and guilt-free relationship with all food, but I also believe that you need to eat a lot of nutritious food at the same time because you've damaged your body and it needs as much help as it can get in order to repair and heal itself. I'm not telling you to go out and buy heaps of superfoods but fresh fruit and vegetables should definitely be incorporated into a recovery intake on a daily basis. 'Fear foods' aren't always 'unhealthy' or 'junk' food though - personally, I was extremely scared of most fruit for a very long time even though fruit is extremely nutritious and isn't unhealthy in the slightest!
The most important thing about recovery is that you need to take control of it yourself and learn to trust your own body and cravings. Don't sit and analyse what other people are doing or eating because they're completely different to you and have separate needs. They'll exhibit different behaviours, have different thoughts and experience fears of different food, therefore their recovery will also be different. Look after your body by nourishing it with wholesome food but simultaneously fight the voice inside your head telling you that other food is bad, because it isn't - a balanced diet is key and I like to think I've finally achieved that. I eat natural, whole foods the majority of the time but I'll also happily eat a slice of not-so-nutritious vegan cake at a cafe with my friends, an entire takeaway pizza (vegetarian with no cheese and extra veggies!) while watching a movie with my boyfriend, or three bars of raw chocolate in a row because life's too short to deny myself the things I enjoy!
The most amazing vegan date and chocolate cake from Eighth Day Cafe
If you're ever doubting why you're recovering then just remember that being stuck in a world consisting solely of illness, numbers and misery is far less rewarding than living a life full of laughter, friendship and delicious food. It does take a while to get to a comfortable point though so don't be discouraged if you don't feel as though your attitude to food and your body is improving straight away. It took me almost a year to get to the stage where I was able to start experimenting with food and recipes and even now, 16 months into my recovery, I still have my ups and downs. But things do get better - I never used to believe anyone when they said that but it's honestly true, I promise.
Note: if you're worried you may be suffering from disordered thoughts about food and your body, or are engaging in destructive or negative behaviours then please confide in a trusted friend or family member, or better still a doctor or professional who is qualified to treat people with eating disorders.
I love you.
ReplyI love you more, you beautiful thing xxx
Meghan, I'm happy with your post...It makes be proud of you, of your growth, your wise. I send you all my love)
ReplyAnd as for thoughts...You are so right - there is no one magical key for all, it's always about your own path. And sometimes even to copy someones path can be helpful - for those who need strict guidence. Guess it rare happens but might. And there is no "wrong" way if you decide to do something with ED - each and every step, whenever it's up or down, leads you to the recovery - each and every, I strongly believe in it.
There are so many people around us and they have many different habits. Some like teach others - from the best motives. Some thinks that they just the cleverest. Some want to disturb you cause they are lonely and feel sadly. And they all can write the same thing - like that you've mentioned about healthy eating. And you never know why this concrete person have written it. And...it's good. Let him be with his thoughts. Let believe that he didn't want to disturb you. But let's take his words as a lesson for us: the less it makes us upset, the closer we to recovery. We know the difference between lifestyle (vegan or vegetarian) and working on finding balance with food. It's different things and we know it. That is important, not what others think. Sorry, I am again write too long and afraid boring. In any case, hug you:)
Polina (berrystylegirl)
Thank you so much for this comment Polina, it really means a lot to me! You don't write long or boring things at all, everything you write is thoughtful and kind, and that's what matters :) I'm proud of you for fighting your eating disorder and I'm so grateful for all your support. Thank you xxx